The Importance of Nothing

It's Sunday morning. I swapped my ten year old son for a four year old niece for the night with my sister. So, I have two four year olds quietly reaping havoc on the already messy bedrooms above my head. My almost 12 year old daughter is in her bed, headphones on, watching past episodes of "Glee". The man of the house is on the couch, creating art or music on his ipad. The washing machine and dryer are humming away below me and the birds that have taken residence in our fan are chirping away outside the window behind me.

It is peaceful. Nothing is happening and I'm savouring it.

Often we say to each other when we meet "What's happenin'?" And reply grimacing "not much" or "same old, same old" or "surviving". What are we saying? "Our lives are boring". Are our lives only exciting when we are going on exotic holidays? Or are they only exciting when we have some battle to fight? Or maybe we live through others. "You'll never guess what she did."

What do we want to do more than we are doing? What do we want to do less of? What is stopping us?

I would like to see more live theatre, music and dance. I would like to spend more time, cooking with friends and having them over for dinner. I would like to take a few days and go to the country with a bunch of women. So what's stopping me? Only one thing and it's not time or money, or management. It's importance. I do not give importance to what I want because I am busy being "responsible".

I see the scene. It's raining, maybe a distant rumbling of thunder (of course there has to be some drama at my funeral). They are giving me a eulogy before they put my hemp coffin into the ground. What are they saying? "She was so responsible. She has nothing to regret." Or are they saying? "She lived a good life. She looked after her children but she had fun along the way."

And I'm looking down from heaven, saying, "I'm glad I got that laundry done instead of going for a walk with my sisters." (Of course I'll be in heaven!)

Whether or not I get around to doing all these lovely things I wish for, there's one thing I'm doing right now, enjoying the nothing. Because sometimes that's what I want most.