Who to blame?

Today I got upset. I got caught between my boss and a client. I got the impression that I was being blamed for their errors. Well, maybe I had a part in it. I might have misunderstood my boss's words. He is from Cork after all!

He was just getting frustrated because he wasn't getting paid. But I feel like I do a good job and deserve to be trusted.

I have had some of the worst bosses that are legally possible. One that shouted at me because I miscounted background actors by two people with a line up of two hundred in the sweltering sun. Another used graphic language about my anatomy. His words were so bad that I couldn't repeat them here. And he was blaming me on a mistake he had made.
On the other hand I've had some beautiful bosses who led with understanding and confidence, rather than acting like an authority figure. One such person received a complaint about me and after listening, without needing to ask my side, defended me instantly.

This is the kind of relationship that I choose. If someone doesn't trust that I am doing my best then they can find someone else. I don't need to be shouted at or for foul language to be used to inspire me into action. I am more than happy to fix whatever I miscalculate or misunderstand, just because I care and like to do a good job. I want to be a positive part of whatever I am doing.

Children's lives are entrusted to me daily. I am everything to them - teacher, counsellor, cook, judge, coach, disciplinarian, witness, avocate and cuddler. How much more important is that than appearing "professional" or efficient in someone's eyes?

In the past, I was afraid of being fired. Every little mistake made me edgy and so I made lots of them. I wrongly concluded that I wasn't made for accounting or for the business world. And maybe it isn't my forte. However, something I have accumulated with the wrinkles and grey hairs, is a value for myself. I am not what I do right or wrong. I am so much more.

When it comes down to it, I choose to work with people who are mature enough to know how great they are, and how fallible they are. Then there is no one to blame. There is just, "how can we fix this?"